When your spouse cheats, does that mean the end of your marriage? Seriously – do you have to end the marriage because your spouse had a weak moment? Here, you'll find some information that can help you move forward with your life.
Breathe!
If you allow it, anger will consume you at this very moment. Yes, you should be angry, hurt, upset, annoyed, and bitter, but you have to find a way around those feelings – feel them, address them, and begin working on resolving them.
Anytime you begin to feel your heart racing and the anxiety flushing over your body, stop and take a big breath, then another. You need to think about what to do next, but you can't allow yourself to become overwhelmed with feelings as you try work to figure out your next move.
Talk it Out
You have a few choices about how you're going to react:
- You can ignore the situation and pretend it didn't happen.
- You can sit down and talk about things – What lead to the cheating?
- You can find a good marriage therapist to work with.
- You can go straight to a divorce attorney and begin working to end the marriage.
- You can stay at a friend's or family member's house for a few days to allow the situation to cool.
What do you want to do? What do you want to happen? Do you want to try to make things work? If you don't feel that you can sit down and have a calm, constructive conversation about the situation with your spouse, it's best to find a therapist that can sit in as a third party to try to maintain peace during the talk.
Work with an Attorney
It's never too early to start talking with a divorce lawyer about what's going on. Contacting an attorney doesn't mean that you want things to end, it means that you're going to be smart about how you proceed.
If you and your spouse decide to separate legally, you'll need some legal work done for you to distinguish how the separation will work. Will you stay in the same home? Will one of you move out? How will child custody work? Having a legal professional working with you will protect you from making any mistakes that could be very costly if a divorce does happen.
This is one of the hardest things that you'll go through, but you will. Breathe. Think. Talk. See what tomorrow brings.
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