Top Tips For Staying Friends With An Ex Through A Divorce

Many married couples who decide to get a divorce still want to be friends. Unfortunately, many challenges in the separation and divorce process put an end to that dream for a lot of couples. If you truly want to remain friends, prioritize the friendship and ask your spouse to do the same. Here are some other ways that you can nurture the friendship throughout the divorce proceedings.

Express Your Regret and Apologize

Instead of shutting down and staying in the heat of anger as you take the first steps in filing for a divorce, try to keep communication open with your ex. Also express your regret about the role that you played in the ending of the marriage. If you can, acknowledge what you honestly feel you did wrong and apologize for the things you're sincerely sorry for doing. While it may be impossible to come back together as a couple, you may be able to form a strong friendship after you own up to your mistakes and apologize.

Get Your Own Lawyer

Although you may be waving a white flag and wanting to end all feuds with your ex, you don't want to completely let your guard down. Get your own lawyer who will have your own concerns as a priority. Don't try to share a divorce lawyer under any circumstances.

Settle Differences Outside of Court

Even if you are unable to settle your divorce with one another amicably, you may still be able to stay friends. However, in many cases, it's best if you then resort to mediation instead of court. It can be easier on your pocketbook and easier on the friendship. Battling your ex in court can make the preservation of the friendship even more challenging.

Be Generous at Each Step

It's much easier to be generous with someone if you think you're spending the rest of your life with them. When you're heading for a divorce, generosity is probably not your top priority. However, be generous with your ex if you truly care about them and want to nurture the friendship through the painful situation. That doesn't mean you should give up alimony or surrender full custody of your children. However, it does mean that you should try to play fair and be generous where it doesn't hurt you to do so.

Finally, keep in mind that you need to keep your own needs closest to your heart. No matter how much you cherish the friendship with your ex, the game has changed, and you no longer know the person as well as you may think you did within the marriage. To ensure that you are protected, keep your own needs first and foremost in your mind while also considering the well-being of your ex. Check out for more information about the divorce process and how a divorce attorney can help.